Thursday, 16 March 2006 - 10:52 CST
Name:
you know who
the good doctor is always in.
my suspect is those feelings are normal.
as long as you are not hearing voices outside of you and ally, you are okay. Ally's sad because you are sad. Winter sucks and spring is coming. Spirits will be lifting soon.
you are a fairly rational person, hormones aside. if you have to, sit down and write out every friggin thing bothering you and when you feel the most rational go through and mark out the irrational stuff and lo and behold you'll find out what the "real" issue is. Make a duplicate list for Rob and have him cross out stuff when he's had some sleep. It may just be that you're overwhelmed.. YA THINK?!? Some dumbF*** has decided that no only are we supposed to do it all perfectly, we're supposed to look and feel perfect too. You know how stupid that is, and I dont think that after thinking about it that you'll continue to believe it. Ally is a happy, healthy, smart little girl. You have a tough situation all around. Not that you are asking for me help (I realize that) but my thought is that in general, you do the best you can. We all do. So what if Ally eats 4 things. smash up a vitamin in a milkshake or give her the damn ones that are gummy bears. She'll love it and you win! So what if you have to cut a corner here or there. Our moms did it too, it was just that no one talked about it or expected that of them in the media. The only problem was small minded gossips who had nothing better to do than comment about if someone else's kid had on a pressed shirt or not. Now its how we handle things..perfectly.. screw that. You are a REAL mom. You work hard and still do my guess is 100% of your housework. You also raise a child. That's 3 full time jobs. Plus pregnancy on top of that. That's 4 full time jobs. Give yourself a friggin break. Give you and your kid some ice cream BEFORE dinner and go outside and blow bubbles. See if the dog likes to eat the bubbles or chase the bubbles. The laundry will still be there tomorrow. Dishes, etc. The minute hubby complains tell him he can do it. Most likely he wouldnt even notice. What I'm telling you is to give yourself a break and do something to make yourself happy. If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. Even "studies" have shown that the mother that takes time for herself and makes herself a priority has happier kids. Do you think for a minute that Rob doesnt make himself top priority? No, he showers when he needs to, he shoves dirty or clean laundry on the floor or moves it instead of putting it away or starting a load right? Of course. What does he do on his days off versus what do you do on your days off? Trust me, its a similar situation in my household, I'm slowly teaching Matt to pick up the slack. You are not an earth-muffin, a doormat or a piece of meat. Treat yourself better than you treat your family. Try it for one hour, one day, one week. And see if that doesnt help... I'm thinking about you...don't go from being 2 moms into just the jaded one. By the way, did you realize you categorized yourself as JUST a mom? Are you insane or what? You are so much more than just a mom. You've always been KT and she's strong, smart, and pretty reasonable. Also damn good at everything. No one is perfect though.. no matter how hard we may try.. its NOT possible..so shut off the damn yappy tv in your head that says everything has to be perfect and go--duh, this is REAL LIFE.. not some sitcom. And do what makes you happy. Your kid will thank you for it.
