I haven't really felt a lot like writing lately. Mostly, I write here to have a record of the general everyday things in my life that are special/worth remembering. Lately though it feels like everything is all running together and not worth remembering. Sure, Anya's standing by herself a little bit more often, and she hasn't had an ear infection for over a week now, but really it just feels like everything is blah. I'm ALWAYS tired. She won't sleep even though she feels better, and she's starting to come down with another sniffly nose already. Will I ever sleep again? Plus, Ally is still giving us fits over eating. She eats new things MUCH more often (she gave absolutely no objection to Stove Top stuffing the other night), but every meal is still an argument. Mostly just to get her to Shut. Up. for a minute - just long enough to have a single moment of quiet to regroup. I'm finding it hard to summon enough energy to even manage the daily functions. Ally hasn't had a bath since Friday night. I'm a horrible mother (But her father has also been home those same nights and has not ever noticed that it hasn't been done. I wonder how long it would be if I just waited until he noticed?). But it's just so hard to do. We don't get home until 5 and supper is at 5:45-6 or so and she never stops talking, so it takes an hour for her to finish eating and Anya's bedtmie is 7 and she needs to be nursed to sleep and Ally wakes her up if I put her in the bath after Anya's in bed, and it is all just too much work. I just need a break. The holidays are too hard to deal with. It just makes everything so much more effort. We have to deal with 4 sets of parents and 2 sets of grandparents. It's great getting together and all and I always look forward to seeing everybody, but I also kind of dread it, you know? All the packing and meals on the go and taking Ally to other people's bathrooms and finding a out-of-the-way place to change Anya and throwing away her toxic waste of a diaper in someone else's trash can and worrying about whether it's going to stink up their house and having to wear non-pajama bottoms all weekend and the wrapping and assembling and freeing of the toys from their plastic prisons. exhausting. And it hasn't really even started. I'm just tired. We went to Christy's son's 3rd birthday party Saturday and my Dad's Christmas party Sunday and Friday is my Grandma's Christmas. Saturday is Christmas at Darra's. Sunday we'll come home and have to get all the usual weekend laundry/housekeeping done plus get ready for the presents the ext day. Allt the computer parts need set-up and I'm sure that Ally will be hyped up on sugar, becuase that's what the holidays are about isn't it? sugar? I used to love that part, but now? not so much. It's really to hard to tell your kid that she can't have a cookie because she already had one when there are 20 people around eating every different kind of cookie there is over an over again. Then? The sugar rush. Yuck. Plus, the missed naps. I believe I touched on the missed naps when I recounted the Thanksgiving/Birthday party rush, but I didn't even begin to relay the problem it causes. The little subtle disobediences are a lot more of a pain in the ass than the overt stand-offs. Like, how do you decide the severity of punishment for taking the Velcro out of the holes on her shoes when she's been told not to 500 thousand times? It's disobedience, sure, but does it warrant acction? Especially when you're tired of dealing with the total breakdown that will come if you try to enforce anything when she's tired and cranky already. It would be much easier if she'd just kick me or something. Then I could tell her she needs to lay down and she'd probably fall asleep. But things like wiping a buger on her sister's back? Not really punishable by early bedtime. By the way, she missed her nap both days this weekend. As if that neded said.
Anyway... That's just my way of saying that I feel like carp (edited: I don't really feel like a fish) crap. All this business is running around in my head and I never get to sleep and I always have to be incharge of coordinating the schedule and what goes where with whom and I'm just tired of it. Anyone want to come over and babysit for me? You'll have to be willing to take my car and go somewhere else, because I'm staying home and sleeping. See you at 5?