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Wednesday, 11 April 2007
Easter fun and troubles

So, I got this phone call on Thursday from Rob's mom. "Katie, have you got the girls Easter candy yet? Because I just realized that I bought way too much, so you don't need to buy any, ok?" um, ok. I had planned on being a mean Mommy and only getting the girls toys this year, because we still have Halloween candy left. but, since we all know how I feel about candy, I wasn't about to turn it down. Love me some chocolate.

She wasn't kidding. Way too much. She didn't even bring me all of it, but wow. I've got to pull some out of Ally's basket, because she'll never decide what kind to pick if she has that many to choose form. Thanks Darra! That means I'll get to eat a bunch of it too. yum.

So Anyway, Saturday during nap, we put all the candy in plastic eggs (for hiding the next day) and gathered all the stuff we had bought for the kids. Then I realized that we would need some BIG easter baskets, so I had to dump one of the baskets that regularly holds some of Ally's toys and requisition it for the job. (See flickr.) There were bubbles, books, sand buckets, chalk, fingerpaints, stuffed stuff (mostly rabbits), this weird little chick that chirps when you hold it, and more. Ally was thrilled. Anya's basket, of course, had a ball in it. She loves balls of every kind. Most of the stuff I got for them was carefully picked out by them at Dollar General a couple days before. not a surprise, but guaranteed to be wanted. What was my point? oh yeah, Big baskets!

Sunday, we started the day off with some candy. Just a piece or 2, and it wasn't really a big deal. We went to Grandma's house and dyed eggs. And then some peeps were eaten. Ally and Marley went outside afterward and hid and found for quite a while. It was very cold, but they didn't seem to mind. My uncle Steve went with them. The kids took turns with him hiding and them finding and vice versa. Everytime they hid them, he'd come out and say something like "I wonder where they could be" and one of them would run to an egg and yell "I found one!" well, duh. you just hid it there 30 seconds ago. LOL Very funny! They played outside until there hands were about frozen. Ally ate practically nothing at lunch. She played with her cousins and had a great time. Anya was busy chasing the dogs around if they came inside. And just generally wandering around. She actually managed to get an entire plastic Easter egg in her mouth, so we had to outlaw them. She has a big mouth! Ally utterly failed to have a nap. instead, she went for a walk with Rob and his mom out in the "deep, deep woods" (which was mostly empty field, I think.)

I learned to make the crocheted names myself, and we took a 4 generations picture and had to leave. Ally had some more candy before we left. (Does anyone see where this is going?) She asked for another peice when we got home. I gave her one and told her it was the last one until she had a good supper. She asked me again, and I repeated myself. lather, rinse, repeat. I told her to stop asking. If she asked again before she had eaten a good supper, I would throw away a peice of candy. So she asked me. And I threw one away. She was shocked. I explained myself and reminded her that she doesn't get treats when she doesn't listen. blah, blah blah.

So, then for supper she eats her chicken, but not her corn. Said her tummy was full. I warned her that she didn't have a good supper. We talked about it and she wanted down anyway. 10 seconds later, what does she ask me? You guessed it. So I threw away another piece of candy. It broke her heart. She started bawling. Ran over to the couch and threw herself down crying. Oh my god. So I explained again why it happened and that she needs to listen when we tell her things. Then I had to go put Anya to bed, and Rob talked to her about it for a while. Since he's not the one who did it, she listened to him a little more and I think understood. She calmed down at least. We made sure she went to bed early that night.

Some people that I have told about this seem outraged and think that I've lost my temper. (which I didn't. I told her the cnosequences and when she didn't listen, I followed through with them calmly) Others told me I was being a good mom. I don't know which is true, but I think it was the right thing to do. I know that it made me feel like shit. I hope that I won't have to do it again.

*And Darra, I'm not blaming you for this at all. I only mentioned your part in bringing it because I thought the phone call was funny. I'm actually really really enjoying the chocolate. It was the holiday and the mood that Ally's been in lately, and the no nap. Please don't misunderstand.

Posted by ktjrdn at 11:16 CDT
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Wednesday, 11 April 2007 - 12:32 CDT

Name: "jill"

what I want to know is....drumroll please.. did you get the candy back out and eat it yourself or was it "really gone"--i would have a hard time just throwing it out completely :-)

 you can't expect everyone to agree with your parenting skills and you can't expect a three year old to get it right away. people were outraged?!? were they outraged if you beat your kid without asking them what happened first? were they outraged that you yelled and screamed at her for something that is not a big deal or that someone else did? WAIT--that's not you!!!! I dont think you have anything to worry about--anyone else being outraged! but Ally being upset means she understood the point--so you're doing a good reinforcement concept anyway whether people agree with u or not!take that to heart girlfriend!

as a side note--as if anyone cares--i dont know aobut us as teeny tinies like ally-but once we got big enough--all that was in our basket--or halloween bucket--was ours, we ate it on our own timetable. of course, i always ate in moderation--to make it last longer and I loved regular food so i didnt have trouble eating dinner. i have relatives that hold their kids candy up and dont let them eat it so they still have halloween candy as well--my point is they are big enough kids to "know better" and they still have baby teeth and not a lot of caveties--let them do it now while they can.. or... (and this is nothing against what you did KT, just a thought for next time on halloween or something)--let them trick or treat for candy some and then trick or treat for Unicef after that. google it. or your own charity. or just go visit family or something and dont keep a lot of the candy--as kids, we never GOT that much--I think people just give away too much now. and thereby everyone's kids get a lot more--does that make sense? I used to remember one guy that would let you choose "2" pieces of candy at his house! two! they were fun size--but hey! 2! do they get more than that now? anyone want to chime in? Maybe those of us overwhelemed by 2 pieces in the 1980's give away more than 2 pieces to each kid now?!?

a trend i have noticed too is that my young relatives all attend sunday school and every week they have a snack or candy or both.and they have gotten smarter about hiding it or not eating it right away because they still eat lunch--but for a while it was a problem.  umm.. we got a treat ONLY on holidays and it was a small treat at that not a bunch of stuff and full size candies every week...anyone else? also do they kids get stuff at day care, dance, etc?  okay i should have done this on my own blog, but if you dont want to pollute kt's site, email me at jill dot shoemaker at gmail dot com happy to hear anyone's thoughts..

Wednesday, 11 April 2007 - 12:47 CDT

Name: ktjrdn
Home Page: http://ktjrdn.tripod.com

Yes, I threw it away. I don't think you know just how much we have. Or just how crappy I was feeling this weekend.

I have no problem giving her some candy. The problem I have is that she won't eat real food consistantly. I'm not going to let her substitute it.

We always got to eat our own candy when we wanted to. When she gets older, we'll probably start that too. For now, she'd just eat some more whenever she got hungry and never eat anything else, but bread or chicken.

We have way too much, but it's really not a problem. I always pare it down so that she doens't get overwhelmed. She never even notices. Otherwise, it would take her 20 minutes just to pick out a piece. I eat some of it, and the rest is still in the cabinet.

She always gets a piece at the end of dance. sometimes i think she shouldn't because she didn't listen and the teachers had to chase her down one too many times, but I don't interfere. It's their class. They can give out candy if they want to.

As for the generation thing? I think we spend money more easily. We buy everything in excess including candy for holidays. That's why the kids get more. That's my theory

Wednesday, 11 April 2007 - 19:17 CDT

Name: "erin"
Home Page: http://the-looney-bin.blogspot.com

I think you did a great job.  That was a very creative response to a frustrating situation (being asked the same question over and over will surely drive me out of my mind).  Ally's reaction sounds like typical overtired toddler/kid.  

Wednesday, 18 April 2007 - 10:40 CDT

Name: "cpamom"
Home Page: http://cpamomva.com

I think throwing the candy away was an inspired idea.  My kids listen up all the time now that I tell them something they love is going to be thrown away (Amy W's idea - she is brilliant). 

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