Ally's hugs make everyone happy.
If Ally does something to make you sad, or is sad herself, she's convinced that hugs will make it better. If I tell her "That's not nice, we don't hit Mommy/ poke Daddy's eye/ kick/ etc" She immediately casts her eyes down and comes over to offer a big hug. Then she looks up at you, smiles, and says "All better. Mommy happy now" So true. Ally's hugs make everyone happy.

take turns
I brought one of Ally's slides in the house the other day so she could play with it. She spent a very long time sliding down and sliding one or the other of her care bears down it. She took one from me and said "it's yellow bear's turn" and slid him down then followed behind. I had to clap and Yay for them both. "It's not pink bear's turn, it's yellow bears turn. Wait pink bear" and so on. Then she'd switch and make yellow bear wait. She's really good at taking turns with the toys when she's playing alone.

Swiper, No swiping! Oh mann...
Ally is convinced that Swiper is going to get her toys. For those of you who don't watch Dora the Explorer 5 hundred times a day, Swiper is a fox that tries to swipe Dora and Boots' stuff. His arrival on the show is always indicated first by a swishing sort of noise. Then you have to find where he's hiding.

Ally is all the time saying "you hear that sound? Oh it's swiper the fox" We now have a standard answer to that. It's "Ally, Swiper is not real, he's only on TV and in books" She even repeats that sometimes, but I'm not real sure she believes us.

I prefer to look on the bright side. We have an imaginative young girl. As opposed to having a selfish paranoid one.

kiss it, please?
Ally got some dinosaurs for Christmas. About 5 inches tall or so. pretty basic. Rob suggested letting her take them to the bath the other day, and she had a fine time, so I let her take them with her last night. She lined them up in a row on the edge of the bathtub.

One fell off into the bathtub and hit her on the way down. You know where. So what does my darling little angel do? She says "Dinosaur hurt Ally. Kiss it momma" Indeed. I struggled for a minute trying to find something to say that would not just confuse her more (She doesn't quite get adult humor yet, you know) and finally settled with: It's not broken. You're okay. Which she accepted and went on with life. But oh the thoughts in my head...

slipping a little further down in the ranks
Since we already know that I'm not in the running for the "Best mom in the universe", I decided that I'd just slip a little father down in the list last night. (In fact, it's so well known that people stop me at Wal-Mart to comment about it. fat bastard grumble grumble) Ally was grumpy and wanted peanut butter for supper. I gave her some crackers, and was getting the giant tub (Rob loves peanut butter) of peanut butter down when she decided that she wanted to do it. So I gave it to her while I got out a butter knife. She took it from me and stuck it in the jar and said "ally do it" So, I let her. She made a PB mess. But she was having a lot of fun playing with knives. That's the important thing right? Yeah, yeah, it was a butter knife. She would have had to try very hard to hurt herself with it. What she did instead, was to try - mostly in vain - to 1) get some on the knife 2) transfer it to the cracker and 3) keep it off her fingers. She gave up occasionally and licked the knife instead.*

I had never before realized what skill it takes to spread PB on a cracker. Twice, she dropped the knife on my freshly mopped floor. nd once she screamed for no apparent reason. When I asked her why, she said "hair in the face" So I moved it, but my hands were wet, because I was doing dishes, and then she had to comment on how now her hair was wet. Picky child. Anyway, she had fun, and managed to eat dinner without hurting herself, or giving me a headache.

* Don't tell Rob about that part. He would throw a fit about the saliva in the PB jar and how saliva breaks down food, blah, blah blah. He made me buy my own jar of PB when I was in the puking phase of pregnancy, so I wouldn't eat from the spoon out of his jar. We'll just let this be our little secret.

Hey, I remembered to SpellCheck both of the entries so far today. Yippee

It happened to me...
I read about it all the time - People who just can't manage to keep their mouths shut when they have no business opening them - but had never actually had a real-life experience with one. Until Saturday.

Now, those of you that know me well, know that I absolutely love the evil Wal-mart store.
For those of you that know my husband, you can see the problem I have. While he is also a big fan of the evil store, he is not a big fan of large groups of people in our own income-bracket. He's kind of a broke elitest. Anyway. I should have known we were in for it when we went shopping at Walmart on Saturday at 5:00 pm. That's when all the wackos are out. (His favorite time to go is on Sunday morning when all the people in the area are at church)

So anywhoo... Ally is riding in the cart standing up in the basket, but holding on like a good girl. She's having a great time wobbling and trying to keep her balance, and while she's happy, we all are (Well, Rob was kind of grumbly about all the people stopping for no apparant reason in the middle of aisles, but that's to be expected) When out of the blue, a fat old lady with an oxygen tube starts talking to us. She says something to the effect of "You know, when my son was young, he was riding in the cart like that and we hit a bump in the parking lot and he tumbled out and fell on his head." So while I'm trying to find a way to tell her to fuck off, Rob says "That's nice." and walks right on past her. I though he showed remarkable restraint. The lady had the nerve to say to our backs "Well, if you don't care about her..." OH. MY. GOD. I just about went back and kicked her. Hard. But Rob pointed out to me that that would be battery and all...

1. We don't EVER let her ride across the parking lot like that, because a) it's not safe, and b) it's horribly bumpy and I can't imagine it would be comfortable

2. Who the fuck are you to talk to me anyway!

3. Just because you are a dumbass who dropped her kid on his head, doesn't mean everyone else is just as stupid. (Even if we both are shopping at the evil Wal-Mart store.)

4. Did I ask for your opinion, you fat fuck?

You can see I was a little perturbed by the whole thing. The worst thing is that she thought she was justified. She thought WE were the rude ones for not taking time out of our trip to justify her wrong-headed idea that she has the right to comment on our lives and waste our time.

Fucking stupid ass-people. I wish we could have waited til Sunday to go. **


**removed text here for fear of alienating some of the people who read this occasionally. If anyone has the need to hear my beliefs on people and their Sunday habits, feel free to email me.

Posted by ktjrdn at 09:34 CST

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freakouts
Ok, reacting to my husband's freakout doesn't count as one of mine does it? I think he's PMSing. I swear he was such a bitch last night. He worked the night before, and didn't get any sleep and then finished putting down more plywood in the garage attic and then stressed out about his on-line class that doesn't start until Jan 17th and then bitched at me all night. Anyway, I had horrible heartburn and wasn't real sympathetic. You could in fact say that I didn't give a shit. Anyway, he's better today.I just hope that doesn't count though, cause I may have to break that resolution I made just yesterday. It's only Thursday.

next up - nude beaches
I've been looking through my pictures lately and have noticed somethng. I'm lazy. This is not a startling revelation or anything, but it is very obvious in my archive of photos (which is getting huge). When Ally comes home from day care, and I change her diaper I am generally too lazy to put her pants back on her. So, in most of the pictures of her playing around the house, she's wearing a shirt, diaper and socks. how pathetic am I? Of course, I dont' especially like wearing pants either, so maybe that's it. Potty training hasn't really helped that either. We pull her panties up and down so many times that it's just easier not to have pants on over them. But, that's enough about bathroom habits.

She has started to like being undressed though. I had to threaten and try to bribe her the other day to get dressed. Nothing worked, and I just figured since we weren't going anywhere, it wasn't a battle worth fighting. Then Rob's parents came over, and I felt bad, so before they came in, I told Ally that Grandma and Grandpa would only come in if she hurried and got dressed. Worked like a charm. She was completely dressed by the time they walked in the door. I'm shameless sometimes

Some premature worries
I think that part of the reason I was halfway hoping for a boy was the horror of the thought of having 2 teenage daughters at once. (Then I was hoping against myself that it was a girl I knew it was a girl anyway, and was happy since I love having Ally so much, and besides, now I don't have to buy as much stuff, and don't have to stop wandering around the house in various stages of undress - haha Rob, those days are almost over for you!)

For those of you that don't know me well, or at least for those that have only met me after my high school days, this may come as a bit of a shock: I wasn't exactly a good little girl. Oh, I never got into (much) trouble or did drugs or anything. And I was good at covering my tracks, but I know what I was doing, even if my Mom didn't. That's the part that scares me. My mom had the pleasure of sticking her head in the sand and pretending that I was asleep in bed and not out running the streets getting drunk and letting people take advantage of me. (There was this one time that involved a fifth of vodka, a bet, some puking, and a cop - and that was pretty tame - nuff said?)She was so good at pretending, she still thinks it's true. Sorry mom if you're reading this. But, I'm (what year is it?) 27 years old now, and have kids of my own. Just pull the sand back over your head if you feel like it.

Anyway, what am I going to do with 2 teenage daughters? Or just as bad, 11 and 9 - those adolescent roll-your-eyes years? And, what am I going to do if they aren't as sneaky as me? I wish for blissful ignorance.

Also, Ally is a dingus as I've mentioned before. Rob has never done well in school, because he was always bored and not very patient. I was always bored too, but had the temperament to wait it out. It made school a lot easier for me. So, I hope she takes after me. BUT for all the reasons mentioned above, I desperately hope she doesn't. Maybe we should have used someone else's DNA to have our kids.

PS. I remembered to spell check. Whoo-hoo

appended to the resolution list
11. I resolve to write less about things that should go on in the bathroom but don't always in our house. I have noticed a disturbing trend in the conversation topics around here lately.

Lotto
Does anyone want to volunteer to make some money with me? It won't take much committment on your part, all you have to do is this: cash in a winning Lotto ticket and give me the money. I'll let you keep some. I can't play by myself (I hate Gov. Blogojo Blagojobovich Blow job), so I can't win. There is a loophole though. The Lotto people don't track the money after it's cashed, so I could benefit from it. So, if anyone has any winning Lotto tickets laying around that they don't know what to do with, Keep me in mind. Or, we could go half. You buy it, win, and cash it in, and I'll reimburse you for the taxes you'll have to pay, and the cost of the ticket. Fair?

resolutions
All right, everyone has been posting resolutions on their blogs. I guess I had better make some too.

1. I resolve not to freak out more than twice a week. I've already used up one of those this week, but since it's already Wednesday, I think I might be able to stick to that one.

2. I resolve to bathe Ally more. I'm really pretty lazy about that. She gets a bath every other day, or sometimes every third day. She has dry skin, and the dr said that less baths in cooler water would help that. Right now though, her skin is fine with lotion, and she loves bathtime so much!

3. I resolve to stick to a schedule for cleaning. I'm really lazy. Have I mentioned that? My house is almost always a mess. It's never actually filthy or anything, but it's never decluttered, and very rarely dusted. i created a calendar to help me stay on track. There are very simple things on it that I hope to be able to keep up with. For example. the only thing I expect on Saturday is to get the bathroom cleaned. I have all day. That should be doable. I'm thinking if I can do this, #1 will be much easier

4. I resolve to remember people's birthdays AND (this is the important part) let them know I remembered with a card or phone call. Ha ha. What's a resolution list without some impossible things on it? (Jill, tell your mom and Sammie Happy Birthday)

5. I resolve to have another baby. I'm pretty sure I can stick to that one.

6. I resolve to try and remember to spell check more often. I can't type for shit.

7. I resolve to have one month that I don't have to buy diapers. Actually, this is more like a prayer. Please God!!

8. I resolve to figure out how in the heck I'm getting over 1000 page views in the first 3 days of the year. Only one person ever comments. Who are these anonymous people? I'd love hearing from you. All you have to do it click on the comment link under each post. It's really not that hard. Can't you see I'm desperate for some adult interaction?

9. I resolve to have more sex. (Speaking of adult interation) I've got all this time, where I don't have to worry about birth control, and it's being wasted. eh, nevermind - I'm too tired for that.

10. I resolve to find something to occupy myself at work besides making meaningless lists on my blog.

panties
Ally only had 1 pair of wet panties from 7 am to 9 pm last night. That was to be expected though. She had been "washing dishes" for the last 15 minutes. I should have known. Mostly, I caught her, but she did tell me she had to go a couple times. Saturday, she even told me at Applebee's, and held it long enough to get to the bathroom. YAY. We're getting closer.

Funny story: Saturday, I went to Walmart for a quick trip to pick up some stuff. I left Ally with Rob. Before leaving, I took a shower and did general stuff to get ready. Rob was in charge of the baby. I got halfway to Walmart when he called me and said "You're in trouble. You left the baby (yes, we still call her the baby) with her panties full of poop." Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. It was mildly annoying that it was my fault, but I was way too overcome by the laughing to say anything about that.

Funnier story: After hanging up the phone, I realized that I had not been watching Ally for the last half hour at least, and so it couldn't possibly have been my fault. I called him back and told her that he was in trouble for letting her do it, but I would suspend his sentence since I didn't have to clean it up. He got very testy with me and told me that was what he was doing, if he could get off the phone with me. This means that before even cleaning her up, he was so upset by it that he called me. Before cleaning her up! What was I going to do for him?

Funniest story: I later switched the laundry. He had washed that single pair of size 3T panties in a load ALL. BY. ITSELF.

men!
Is it just my husband, or do all men stop up the toliet constantly? I'm so tired of coming home from work and not being able to use the toliet, because Rob has not managed to get it unstopped yet. He pees about 3 times a day, whereas I pee about 15. He doesn't see any hurry to fix it because he's got plenty of time. Well, I don't. Long ago, I created a rule that if you broke the toliet, you had to fix it. That rule has been serving me well, but yesterday, I came home to a broken toliet again. Really, men - learn to use a preliminary flush or something.

P.S. I don't even make him put the seat down for me. We both always put the BOTH seats down. That way, the bathroom looks nicer, no one drops anything in the toliet, and we both have to put the lid up and down.

potty
We went to my mom's house last night for a little leftover Christmas. While we were there, Ally mumbled something about the potty - Here's the good part - BEFORE she peed in her diaper. So, we I got her to the bathroom and she peed in the potty. YAY. This was about 20 minutes before she let loose a really bad smelling poop in her diaper, but, hey, baby steps.

pissed off
Tripod (web host) must search my text for key words to decide what adds to put up. Today, there is a list of web sites at the top of my page that links to buying plush rocking horses. Dammit! I spent all last week pouring over internet searches trying to find a suitable horse, and now they go and put links at the top of my page. Bastards! Maybe if I cuss a lot, the ad search engine will find some truly interesting sites to replace the horses with?

she told me!
Last night, I was cleaning up the massive pile of toys that were laying around the living room floor. I tossed one over to the piles of Little People. Ally turned around, pointed her finger at me and said "No. Don't throw it" I just about cracked up, but instead, I managed to look contrite and apoligize. She's right, you're not supposed to throw toys. She doesn't get over things quickly though. She had to tell me about 20 times that those were Ally's people and we don't throw them. especially because they are Ally's people. And then she made me sing the reindeer song...

Ally's pile of new stuff
I can't remember all of what she got, but here's some of it:

Care Bear and movie
FurReal Kitty (it meows)
Dora hideaway tent
various puzzles
various books
3 Elmo dvd's
various other movies
Little People race track
Little People boating set
various clothes
rocking horse
dinosaurs
E-L-M-O elmo
hokey-pokey elmo
Mr Potato Head elmo
dress-up shoes and fairy wings
firetruck set
tea set (the teapot talks. Allt tries to feed it)
etc etc etc

rocking horse
We went to my dad's house for Christmas on Dec 11th. Leann has this wooden rocking horse that Ally wouldn't leave alone. She was rocking or sitting or climbing on it the whole time we were there. She absolutely loved it. So, I thought I'd get her one for her Santa present under the tree. Unfortunately, that was the 11th. Not much time. No big deal, I had seen a couple plush rocking horses at Kmart and Bergners recently. We looked at Kmart. Nothing tall enough. We looked at Bergners. No horses left, only unicorns. I don't like that idea. It's just not right. Rocking horses should be horses. It was the right height though, so I thought we were onto something. Checked the internet for that brand. Very expensive! (very on sale at the store) I checked Walmart, sers, penney's, sams, toys r us, babies r us, etc. Nothing acceptable. Rob decides that he doesn't really like the plush ones anyway. Ally enjoyed playing with the wooden one, so that's what he wanted. A guy Rob works with has a neighbor who makes them, so we called to see if he had any. nope. None ready until after New Year's.

Tick, tock, tick, tock

I gave up. I figured that Ally wouldn't really notice if she didn't have something like that under the tree anyway, and decided just to be disappointed. That was always my favorite part of christmas. I liked opening presents, but the best part was walking into the room and finding unwrapped already-assembled toys ready to play with.

Then Rob got a call on the 22nd that the neighbor guy would have one ready after all. I think he hurried one up so we could have it for Christmas. Rob was able to pick it up Christmas Eve while he was at work, and bring it home for under the tree before Ally woke up. He took off early just to make sure he'd get there in time. Yay. Ally really likes it. She quickly learned to climb up and down. It's pretty heavy, since it's made out of oak, so she really has to get her whole body rocking to make it move. The great thing is - it fits her now okay, but she'll also grow into it better. It's a long term toy. The bad thing is - it's rather large. Where are we going to keep it forever?

reindeer song
Ally and I both got our hair cut today. When we were done, I dorve over to McDonalds for some drive through lunch. Here's how our conversation went.

Ally: Sing song, Mommy.
Me: What song do you want to sing Ally?
a: reindeer song.
m: "rudolf the red-nosed......down in history"
a: again.
m: How about we sing another song? "Frosty the snow"
a: Reindeer song!!!
m: "man, was a jolly"
a: REINDEER SONG!!!
m: Ally, we already sang that one.
a: reindeer song, reindeer song, reindeer song...
m: That's not a very nice way to ask.
a: Please thank you
m: "rudolf the red-nosed.......down in history"
a: sing reindeer song?
m: Hoeny, we're almost to McDonalds, do you want some chickens?
a: yeah
m: (place order, drive up and wait)
a: chickens, chickens, chickens
m: hold on a minute. they're coming.
m: here's a chicken, Ally
a: (bite) sing reindeer song, Mommy, please!!

I bet I sang that stupid song 20 times. I had to sing it to her at bedtime instead of her usual songs.