Conversations from the car
We talk a lot on the way home from day care. I try to ask her about her day. She sometimes tells me things that I wouldn't know otherwise and sometimes we talk about things I know she did. Yesterday, our conversation went something like this

A: Where are my guys? I don't see them?
M: I don't know honey, where are they?
A: At school.
A: Singing songs
A: by the door.
M: Yep, that's where they were when we left.
A: What's that Aden doing?
M: I don't know. What was he doing?
A: He hurt me.
M: He did? What did he do to you?
A: He hurt me.
M: Did he say he was sorry?
A: Yeah. He hurt my feelings
M: Did he push you?
A: nope
M: did he pull your hair?
A: nope.
A: Sammy did.
M: Sammy pulled your hair?
A: Yeah
M: Did he say he was sorry?
A: Yeah.
M: It's not nice to pull hair is it?
A: My guys hurt me.
M: They did?
A: 2 of them.
A: Sammy and Aden.
M: What did Aden do?
A: He threw a ball at me.
A: He said "Watch out"
M: Oh yeah? (giggling)
A: He hurt my feelings.
A: My 2 guys hurt my feelings.
M: well, that's probably going to happen again. You'll have to get used to it
A: Yeah
(I wonder how much of what she told me is true. She has a pretty vivid imagination sometimes)

A: How's a gonna find my Daddy?
M: He's home. We're going to go home right now and see him.
A: How many daddy's does Ally have?
M: Just 1 Daddy.
A: I have 6 grandmas.
M: yes. that's a lot
A: Yeah, and 6 grandpas too.
M: How many baby sisters do you have?
A: 1 IN. YOUR. BELLY.
M: that's right.
(She's gonig to be confused when the baby leaves my belly and comes into the world)

The fine line between...
...raspberries and spitting is lost on my daughter. Where exactly is that line anyway? It's really hard to see. I blew on her belly the other day, and she told me "You don't spit on me, Mom!" I told her I was blowing raspberries. She started spitting another time, and I told her not to. She told me she was blowing raspberries. I stopped her anyway. She was just spitting.

So I guess the line is all in the intent. It's just a matter of time before she starts telling me "It's not fair"

Mom
Let me introduce myself. My name is Mom. I thought it was Mommy, but I have been renamed. I thought it was a phase, but for the past week, Ally has been pretty determined to change my name. I guess I have to accept it. But I don't have to like it. at least it's not just me. Daddy is now Dad too. (Sometimes Puppy is even Pup) She's insisting on growing up, and I don't like it one bit. I had a baby, and now she's not anymore. Good thing I'm having another one. Haha, just (mostly) kidding.

She's going to learn...I'm just not sure what
Last night, I decided that Ally MUST try 1 bite of something new before getting her usual supper. I ate a ham and cheese sandwich, so I gave her a little bitty piece of ham to try. She didn't want it. She wouldn't eat it. She's stubborn. So am I. It was a battle of wills. Rob was at school, so we had the house to ourselves, and I stood my ground. She didn't have to eat it. But, she wasn't getting anything else until she did.

She tried many different gambits. She wanted a plate. I gave her one. She told me she needed food. I gave her the ham. She gave it back. She played with the dog for a while. She jumped around the living room for a while. She wanted to potty, but her potty seat was too rough to sit on. (Stupid dog is teething) So we went downstairs and she peed. I gave her a tootsie roll. That's our deal. (I'm more interested in potty training than starving my kid after all). She helped me sand the rough edges off her potty seat so she could sit on it next time. She told me it was supper time. I told her to eat her ham. She told me that I should put it on my sandwich. She didn't like it. I told her to try it. She decided she needed a different plate. She threw hers on the floor. She got in trouble. She played a while. She thought she could outlast me. I wasn't going to let her.

Rob came home. he played with her a while, and I went down to the bathroom. As soon as I went down there, I heard her telling him that it was supper time. I had to rush out and yell upstairs for him not to feed her. (That just sounds horrible) I said "She can't have anything to eat until after she eats 1 bite of ham." He was amused. He said "How's that working out for you?" and had a good laugh. Then he asked if he could eat the garlic cheese bread that was sitting on the stove getting cold. I wouldn't let him. I made it because Ally loves it, and thought maybe it would entice her to relent. Nope.

Ally said she wanted some candy. I reminded her that she doesn't get candy until after she pees in the potty. So, she went over to her potty and waited for me to pull her pants down. She peed. I gave her a caramel. She loves them.

Bedtime came. She got her vitamins and went to bed.

Rob pointed something out to me that I had not yet considered before implementing this plan. What if the kid just learns to pee for food?

When she peed the first time, I had to decide what to do pretty quick. Candy is our standard "reward" for using the potty, but we were in the middle of a standoff. I decided that I don't care. Either she learns to eat new foods, or she gets potty trained, either way, I win. Rob agrees (or at least, he's not going to oppose me). Besides, when using bribes positive reinforcement for potty training, you gradually have to up the stakes anyway. (first candy for peeing, then candy only if they stay dry and pee, then only for poops, etc)

She woke up this morning, sat up in bed, and said "It's eating time." I gave her some Cheerios.

Spring forward
Screw this 1 hour at a time crap. I want to spring forward a couple weeks. Do you know how hard it is to manage a wiggly 2 year old, when you can't pick her up and carry her much, because it makes your right leg go numb?

ohm, ohm, 23 days, 23 days, 23 days, 23 days, ohm, ohm

Braxton-Hicks
I'm pretty sure that I was having contractions with Ally before I knew what they were. When I got to the hospital and had the real ones, I thought "Oh, duh. Maybe I was having these before" My stomach was always tight, but I just thought it was because the baby ran out of room in there. Now that I know a little better, I'm pretty sure I'm having contractions with this baby too. Very weird.

The Mommy Wars
Everyone has been talking about the Mommy Wars on the internet lately, so here's my thoughts, in case you cared:

It's none of your freaking business how other people live their lives. Who are you to pass judgement? I truly admire anyone who is able to stay at home with their little snot-monsters/darlings (depending on the day). Not just for the time they spend together, but also the fact that they stay sane. I'm not sure I could do it. However, I also am glad to be able to send my daughter to day care. They give her much more variety day-to day than I ever could. They have more resources, and kids to play with. So - Everyone has different lifestyles, and different personalities, and if you don't agree with someone else's choices - don't butt in. It's none of your business.

I know that the Mommy Wars aren't just about SAHM vs working women. Any "Mommy" choice is under fire from someone who has a dissenting view. No one is wrong, though as long as everyone is healthy and being taken care of. I firmly believe this. I rarely comment on other people's blogs about issues like this because, frankly, they don't need my advice, and probably don't want it.

That said: It's hard to reconcile my feelings with a scheduled c-section. I know that it won't make me any less of a mother, or anything like that. The end result is all the same. But there's this little nagging voice - maybe not even a voice, because I can't put into words what it says - in my head that makes me hope I go into labor earlier and don't need surgery. Is that weird?

girly stuff
I got a manicure last night. from my daughter. I've been painting her fingernails occasionally for a couple weeks, and she's getting pretty good at painting mine too. For some reason, she likes blue though. Not on her fingers, but on mine. Oh well. I go through a lot of polish remover. I'm glad I have a little girl. I can let her paint my fingernails and make let her brush my hair. She kind of likes to play dress up too. We don't have much of it at home yet, but they say she likes it at day care.

well, I did it
I scheduled a c-section. This baby will be leaving my body sometime around 7:15 Tuesday, April 25th. Unless, of course, she gets in a hurry and comes before that - which probably won't happen, as that's already a week early.

baby shower
I think I forgot to mention that I had a baby shower at work. A very small one. It was a surprise. I missed it. Seriously. I called in that day. That was the week from hell when we had just gotten the dog. Amy called me and told me that they were eating my cake without me. They left me a big chunk of it, and I ate it pretty much all by myself. Yummy.

Anyway, I was very surprised, because I don't really need a shower or anything. A second child gets screwed over in the present department. We just have umpteen million toys already. A couple people have asked me what I need, and I tried to go online and create a registry, but there's really not all that much missing. We kept everything of Ally's. Most of her 0-3 months clothes were puked on, so I replaced a lot of it with new ones. I think a lot of clothes are going to be off-season, but I really won't know until I manage to get them all out of the attic. I'm not planning that until I need them. So, I guess if you want to get me something it can be 3-6 month or bigger clothes. Or diapers.

(And I'm only posting this becase people have asked. I really don't need much, and can probably afford to get it myself - I'm not that broke yet. We haven't had to start paying for the second kid in day care yet. LOL. )

Here's what we still need to pick up:
GEAR
a crib mattress
a bouncer
a playmat
a couple packages of non-stained cloth diapers for burp rags

Little crap that we'll go to Walmart for every other day
playtex drop-in 4 oz bottle liners
Pampers diapers
Pampers Sensitive Skin wipes
any cute clothes that are irresistable

See, that's not so bad. We have loads of blankets, and bibs, and washclothes, and hooded towels, and 2 bathrobes (1 duck and 1 frog), and socks, and sheets, and lots of stuff.

Ally would really like to have the green (We've got the orange and blue ones) dinosaur Little People set, or anything Dora related if you're curious about that. Or stickers. She loves stickers and markers and art stuff.

And I really need a 3T short-sleeved "I'm a big sister" shirt. Know where I can find one? I may just buy some iron-on and make one if not. Let me know.

Blogging
hey, take a look at that calendar over there. Do you see it? I've posted almost every workday (weekends don't count) this month. How wonderful am I? I even put out (get your mind out of the gutter. I have not put out in recent history) a bonus weekend post. Do you know what this means?

Yep. Works sucks again. You can only do so many sudokus before your eyes start crossing. Please give me some work to do, people! So, now is the time to ask if any of you have anything you're just dying to know about me. I've got plenty of time to answer, and promise to do so.

Trek
A member of my (extended) family passed on recently. His name was Trek, and he was a damn fine dog. My friend Jill originally trained him to be a seeing eye dog, but because of health issues (joint problems?) he couldn't continue in the program. Which was just great for the family. He had a wonderful life and was loved by everyone who met him. We'll all miss you Trek

speech
I'm starting to notice that Ally copies A LOT of what I say. and some of Rob too. When you ask her a question, most of the time the answer is "Um.... Not yet" I know I say that to her all the time. Like when she says "It's story time mommy" I have to answer with "Not yet. First you have to pick up your toys/eat your dinner/get dressed/etc" I have noticed that "sure it is" comes out of her mouth a lot lately, and I know that one came from Rob.

One of her favorite conversation topics is to compare what she's doing to everybody else. "ally has water. just like Daddy. just like mommy. Ally has socks on. just like daddy..........." (On a kind of related note, but not really, but it was so funny that I really wanted to share it, but forgot until just now when I was thinking about comparing things - When I told Ally that Daddy was bringing her home a present the day he was bringing Sandy home, she said "just like Grandma?" Yuo think she's spoiled much?)

She strings together concepts that I'm not sure are her age level. I think she's ahead of the curve in the language department (not that I'm biased or anything, because her teachers even think so). Which is good, because she's a little behind in the coordination department. She keeps forgetting to watch where she puts her feet, and falls over. She just gets distracted by something as she's trying to sit at her picnic table and sits before her feet are where they belong, then falls over and has to tell us how she hurt her head.

Anyway...I'm glad we got her ear tubes put in last year. They seem to have made a world of difference.

conversation with a 2 year old
Ally: She's gone
Me: No, Sandy just went outside to potty.
A: all gone.
M: No, she's in the backyard
A: gone.
M: Whatever you think...
A: I can look for her?
M: ok
A: Sandy where are you? (looking around)
I think she's in my backyard.
M: I think so too.
A: Sure she is.

teen angst poems
Okay, so Reluntant Housewife wrote a post, that inspired Mrs Fortune that inspried Weirdgirl (and others, but that's how I found it) that I thought would be fun to run with. I've got a lot of crappy poetry from high school. I'll post a few of them:

"Peace and Quiet"
Fighting, fighting,
Neverending,
Neither one ever surrendering.
Always yelling.
Always offending.

There is no peace,
there s no quiet.

Begging, pleading,
yelling, screaming,
wondering...
Who will be the first to leave?

Fights or arguments,
call them what you may.
Tiffs or disagreements,
they are all the same.
Night after night,
one thing remains

There is no peace
There is no quiet

I try to sleep
but still I hear.
Enclosed in my room,
but still I fear.

There is no peace
There is no quiet.

"Tired"
I'm so tired --
tired of life
I think I'll sleep forever.

When I close my eyes
I can not see my world
My problems go away

I can dreams my dreams
of happy places and times
and forget my worries

There's no one to bother me;
mo one to make me sad
no one can ever harm me.

How can a heart break
over and over again?
why are people so cruel?

When it gets too much,
I can't handle it:
don't want to think anymore.
I retire to where I'm safe.
I think I'll sleep forever.

"Listen"
Will he listen to me?
I want to tell him
how I feel.
I want to let him know
when he hurts my feelings,
but I wonder,
Will he listen to me?
He said that he would change
and let me speak my mind,
but it's never happened before.
I wish I knew for sure:
Will he listen to me?

"Gone"
Minds made up
No one giving ground
Hopeless
There can be no winner
only broken lives and hearts.
Both are too proud to back down
Even if, in the end,
falling down will be the result.
Falling away from love.
Too late will they realize
Neither was right,
and come running back
to find the other...
Gone.

No title for this one
How can I be sure?
Can I trust you?
Will you hurt me again,
the way you did before?
Or will you stay this time?
Why do you do this to me?
Why do you come back?
Do you really love me?
Or are you playing games?
How can I sort out my feelings,
if I'm not sure of the truth?
Can you tell me?
Do I even want to know the answer?
How can I be sure?

So, that gives you all an idea of how utterly fucked up I was in high school. I had issues. But, I look at these now, and laugh. I am still proud of them though, because they remind me of where I was and how far I've come. (Some days. some days, I'm not too far from those same feelings)


3/27/06 I had to edit this as I figured out that I had linked wrong up there at the top of this entry. It's now fixed. it sucks that I wasn't accurate in my linking. Sorry everyone.

I'm a loser baby....
Okay, the ironic thing is that the person about whom this entry is (Wow, that's hard to write. stupid grammer rules. phbbttt) just wrote recently how much of a loser she was over a similar situation involving emailing someone. The irony really gets me. And I swear I'm not trying to copy her whole imagined loser-ness. I really am clueless about this stuff. I need some advice. I don't know the proper blog etiquette for when someone asks a question in a comment. In fact, I don't know much blog etiquette at all, since no one ever comes here much. I pretty much sit here and pick my nose and scratch my butt at my discretion, since I'm pretty much alone. (Jill, don't get offended. You're pretty much family. I can scratch my butt in front of family)

But recently, I've gotten comments. Just 2, and they were kind of spread out between them, but they were from "someone out there" that I have never met, and don't want to offend, because I kind of like imagining I'm talking to lots of people, and if someone I don't know comes to visit occasionally, it fuels my fantasy.

Now, I'm in a quandry. I din't know how to answer the question. Do I just post a reply on the blog, and hope (hope, hope, hope) someone reads it? Or do I reply directly to that person in email giving the answer? But, if I do that, what about the multitudes of other lurkers out there who are dying for an answer to the very same question? Do I just sit and wet myself, because someone actually commented (well, and because I'm pregnant, and the baby is pushing on my bladder, but mostly the other thing)?

What I finally decided on was to email a response and post the same answer in the comments. Was that right? I feel like such a dweeb. This person has lots and lots of people who read her blog, and comment everyday, and here I am alone in my loserdom. Oh well, I'm used to that by now.

potty talk
I've noticed (since I've been pregnant and had more gas lately) that I have a pooping stall at work. I go to the closest bathroom when I have to pee, but when I have to poop, I go to a different one, and always the same stall. My regular bathroom is just too small. The smell lingers, and if I'm using 1 of the 3 stalls, it's more likely someone will be waiting on me. Is that weird?

In related news, while I'm in the bathroom for a longer time, I notice that there is a "popular stall" in the bigger bathroom. It gets lots of traffic. I'll never use that one again. Do you know how many people have sat their butts down there today? Me neither, but I'll stick by the un-popular ones - thank you very much.

torn
I have a decision to make. I think you all (haha - "all" makes it sound like there's so many people who read this. Oh well, it's my blog and I can hallucinate pretend if I want to.) know that I had a c-section with Ally. I wish it was simple, but it really isn't. And since I've never actually written down my "birth story" I'll attempt it here. Maybe it will help clarify my thinking. Warning, it may be too much information. having a baby and nursing for a year, pretty much loosens your TMI boundrys.

I laid down Sunday Nov 23rd in bed to go to sleep. I then got up almost immediately because I felt weird. Like I was about to pee, but not really. Mostly it was just a weird pressure. I told Rob, and he said the baby was coming soon. He's a paramedic, and has done some observation time at the hospitals and stuff, and says that the first sensation women start to feel before labor is a "pressure". He annoyed the piss out of me. This was our baby coming, not some clinical medical procedure. Anyway, it passed, and I laid back down.

After about 10 minutes of trying to get comfortable, I went upstairs to lay down on the couch like I had umpteen million other times in the pregnancy, because I had heartburn, and didn't have any drugs to make it go away that time (I love my Zantac). I had just gotten comfortable when I felt goo. My mucus plug had come un-plugged. Boy, if that's not disgusting. It feels like your cooter has a bad cold.
I wasn't feeling any contractions or anything, but had a little bit of fluid - amniotic it turns out - coming out, so I went and woke Rob up. He advised me to wait a little while and see what happened. In the meantime, he stayed in bed. I monitered things for about 15 minutes, and gave him an update. I really think he wanted to sleep.

We debated going to the hospital for a while and stuff, and finally called tele-nurse. They're so useless. We called his mom, and she said to go to the hospital, and they could tell me to go home if I didn't need to be there. Still not really having what I considered to be contractions. Rob felt my stomach though, and said it was hard as a rock, so I guess I was. they just weren't distinct pain or anything (yet). We hung around a little, and then I could feel regular contractions. So we drove in to the hospital. Rob worked in the ER, so we hung around down there for a little while before going up to maternity.

They did the little slide test thing, and said the fluid was amniotic fluid so they kept me. They also hooked me to a moniter. They seemed surprised that my contractions weren't really bothering me yet, but hey, I've had killer cramps all my life. **My water never broke though. Contractions got worse through the night. They finally broke my water the next morning for me. **They also gave me some pitocin afterwards, I think because I wasn't really dialating much. I don't really remember much details, but I remember how Rob curled up in bed with me through the night and slept. It helped having him so close, and he had hid arm over me, so I could squeeze his thumb whenever the pain came. He doesn't remember that part.

When it finally got bad enough that I was ready for the epidural, the anesthesologist came in and did it. No big drama. Only, afterwards, **I was numb up to my shoulders. I got too much. Or reacted too strongly. Either way adds up to the same. I mostly remember being tired. When my doc decided that it was not going to work, and he wanted to do a c-section, I was very disappointed, but went along with it.

Oh yeah - I also had this killer painful OUCH back spasm. I had been rolling from 1 side to the other for so long (so the epidural didn't settle I think) that I must have pinched a nerve. OH MY GOD the pain!! Worse than any or the labor - or all of it put together. I was hysterical. The nurses were freaking because they thought something had gone wrong. I couldn't convince them that the anesthesologist hadn't f***ed up. I just needed to be able to stretch it out, but was incapable and anyway it hurt to damn much to do anything but cry. Rob rubbed it a little, but the only thing that really stopped the pain (after making it almost unbearably worse) was being strapped down to the bed for the c-section. First it made me start to get hysterical from the pain again, but then they threatened to knock me out, and I didn't want that, so I just screamed in my head for a while. But then it popped or something, and went back to almost normal.

So I had a c-section. Rob gave me Ally to hold, but made sure I didn't drop her (cause I would have. I smacked myself in the face with my arm, because I still didn't have much feeling back). He also refused to let the nurse take Ally to the nursery for all the family to see while they were cleaning me up. He made sure that we got to show her off together, and I love him for that.

Anyway. This was a long-winded way to get to my delima. I can try to have this baby VBAC or schedule another c-section. Since it wasn't an emergency last time, the doctor is letting me decide. There are too many issues. I'm conflicted. Here's my thoughts (even the tiny little shallow non-pertinent ones that are running through my head. I'll let you figure out which ones those are.)

1. I'd really like to avoid another surgery. Recovery sucked, and I don't want to not be able to pick up Ally afterwards. I want her to be the least upset as possible by bringing her little sister into the world.

2. I've heard giving birth vaginally sucks too. I have no basis to compare. I hate deciding blind.

3. With a c-section, I'd get to stay in the hospital longer. This seems like a vacation to me.

4. Nothing indicates to me that a c-section is strictly necessary. I could do it without. Ally wasn't an emergency; things just happened too slowly.
I know you were all (*snicker*) wondering about those apparently random **'s up there, so I won't keep you in suspense any longer. Add up the 3 of them, and you might have the cause of my "failure to progress". If they had let me labor longer, my water could have broken naturally and things would have been different. If they hadn't run the pitocin, ditto. The epidural is a gimmee. If I couldn't feel my body, I'm sure that affected the contractions.
So what's that mean? A great big question mark!

5. But then again, there's that whole "risk of uterine rupture" thing. (which is a small risk, but not THAT small 1-2%)

6. If they schedule a c-section, they schedule it a week early. That would be on the 24th of April.

Lots of people have birthdays in April in my family. Very few in May.

Ally's birthday is the 24th. I think it would be cool if they were both on the same day.

Plus, I could get their pictures taken at the same time and it would be convenient (yes, I'm obsessive. I like order. I want her monthly pictures to be when she's 3 months old, not a week before. and vice-versa with Ally. I'd have to do it in the middle and neither one would be "right")

It would be easy to schedule at work

Some of the wonder would be gone. I'd be like "When are you due?" "Oh on April 24th at 10:15 am". Bleh

7. Since we may be without day care for a while, the later I have the baby, the later I return to work afterwards, and we can cut into the time without day care a little. (I am sure of a spot in late August. Assuming May 1st, I have to come back to work July 3rd. After that, we just have to work something out with Rob's schedule, and our many mothers)

8. If I have a c-section, Rob's mom can probably stay longer, as she can take sick time instead of vacation.

9. I live in a bi-level house and that sucks after abdominal surgery!

OK, so those are some of the random thoughts I'm having. I think I'm leaning towards c-section, but don't know if I can live with the guilt if it makes Ally feel any more displaced than she already will. Of course, I didn't ask her opinion before deciding to get pregnant, so... It just feels like a cop-out to me. Most of the reasons against are fickle non-reasons. Except Ally. And the whole surgery/recovery thing. Yuck. Why don't you decide for me and just let me know?

PS. Whew that was long. i'm just too tired to proof-read it, though, so sorry if there's too many typos. Please, if you're reading and never comment, let me know what you think. Please comment. I need help

another PS (5:32 pm) Plus then you've got the whole mommy guilt thing for not being able to birth your own child. I didn't mention it earlier, but I realized that I would be lying if I left it out. It's there. I'm just trying my best to ignore it. It's there, but it's also stupid.

Posted by ktjrdn at 14:35 CST

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did I mention...
...Rob put Ally to bed Tuesday night with hardly any coercion from me? My phone rang as I was getting Ally ready. Rob finished up and I got to finish my phone conversation with my sister. WOW.

yesterday could have sucked....
...but oddly didn't.

Yesterday was supposed to be tumbling day. It was to be our first at the new place. We didn't go last week because of the storm damage in the area, and Ally wasn't feeling well anyway.

When we got home, Rob took Ally outside for a walk with Sandy. He said the dog had gotten a bunch of crap out and chewed on it all day. I straightened up the mess a little while they were gone, and had a few minutes quiet to myself. It was nice.

Ally returned wet from the bottom up about 5 inches. I guess she had stepped in a lot of puddles and fallen in the snow once or twice. I changed her and we got ready to go. By that I mean, I got ready to go, and she sat at her picnic table eating a piece of cheese and some applesauce. Rob didn't want to come with us. I was running late, because she decided to sit on the potty when we were supposed to leave. I drove like a bat-out-of-hell and managed to get there pretty close to on-time.

Here's the crappy part. Last time I talked to this place, they had openings in the class, and told me I could come watch and see if I was interested. They filled the class Monday. I was so disappointed. mainly because I told Ally we were going tumbling, and felt like I broke my word to her. I almost cried. I pulled it together and decided to go to the old one once more, so I wouldn't be a liar.

More crappiness. I was in such a hurry, I left my coat in the car and just grabbed my purse. Unforunately, my keys and phone were in the coat pockets. I had to go back in and call Rob. He came to get me, but didn't drive like a bat-out-of-hell, so he got there about 5 til 6:00. That's when the other class started 6:00. I about broke down. He offered to come with me since he was already in town.

More crapiness. The other place - once AGAIN - didn't have anyone else show up except Ally. For those of you not keeping track, that's the 3rd time she would have been the only one there. I almost cried again. We decided to go to McDonalds with a playplace and see if Ally is big enough yet to climb in it. If not, at least she could eat.

Less crappiness. Rob was very sweet. I knew that I was being over-emotional and that Ally didn't really care. That doesn't change my inability to control it. Hormones. He helped get Ally to eat. (She ate 4 nuggets and 9 french fries dipped in BBQ sauce) Then we went to the playplace area. Ally is still a little too cmall to climb up herself. She's awfully determined though. She made it up with a little direction from us, (and a lot of straining and kicking on her part) but then she couldn't find the slide. She was wandering around looking for the entrance when a little girl befriended her. This girl helped her play and Ally had a great time.
Even when the girl had to leave, Ally was able to climb up with just a little help. She'll be tall enough soon. Her last slide down, she announced that "There's something in my diaper". She stunk. She was okay with leaving to go get her diaper changed, and we took her home. I cleaned her up and put her in the bath, and the evening went okay. She didn't fight bed too much either.

Rob did some bill stuff, and we looked at it together. We're making significant progress on our debt, and have knocked down the monthly interest we're paying to hardly anything (especially compared to what it was).

It's amazing what one screaming free day can do to improve your mood.