yesterday could have sucked....
...but oddly didn't.

Yesterday was supposed to be tumbling day. It was to be our first at the new place. We didn't go last week because of the storm damage in the area, and Ally wasn't feeling well anyway.

When we got home, Rob took Ally outside for a walk with Sandy. He said the dog had gotten a bunch of crap out and chewed on it all day. I straightened up the mess a little while they were gone, and had a few minutes quiet to myself. It was nice.

Ally returned wet from the bottom up about 5 inches. I guess she had stepped in a lot of puddles and fallen in the snow once or twice. I changed her and we got ready to go. By that I mean, I got ready to go, and she sat at her picnic table eating a piece of cheese and some applesauce. Rob didn't want to come with us. I was running late, because she decided to sit on the potty when we were supposed to leave. I drove like a bat-out-of-hell and managed to get there pretty close to on-time.

Here's the crappy part. Last time I talked to this place, they had openings in the class, and told me I could come watch and see if I was interested. They filled the class Monday. I was so disappointed. mainly because I told Ally we were going tumbling, and felt like I broke my word to her. I almost cried. I pulled it together and decided to go to the old one once more, so I wouldn't be a liar.

More crappiness. I was in such a hurry, I left my coat in the car and just grabbed my purse. Unforunately, my keys and phone were in the coat pockets. I had to go back in and call Rob. He came to get me, but didn't drive like a bat-out-of-hell, so he got there about 5 til 6:00. That's when the other class started 6:00. I about broke down. He offered to come with me since he was already in town.

More crapiness. The other place - once AGAIN - didn't have anyone else show up except Ally. For those of you not keeping track, that's the 3rd time she would have been the only one there. I almost cried again. We decided to go to McDonalds with a playplace and see if Ally is big enough yet to climb in it. If not, at least she could eat.

Less crappiness. Rob was very sweet. I knew that I was being over-emotional and that Ally didn't really care. That doesn't change my inability to control it. Hormones. He helped get Ally to eat. (She ate 4 nuggets and 9 french fries dipped in BBQ sauce) Then we went to the playplace area. Ally is still a little too cmall to climb up herself. She's awfully determined though. She made it up with a little direction from us, (and a lot of straining and kicking on her part) but then she couldn't find the slide. She was wandering around looking for the entrance when a little girl befriended her. This girl helped her play and Ally had a great time.
Even when the girl had to leave, Ally was able to climb up with just a little help. She'll be tall enough soon. Her last slide down, she announced that "There's something in my diaper". She stunk. She was okay with leaving to go get her diaper changed, and we took her home. I cleaned her up and put her in the bath, and the evening went okay. She didn't fight bed too much either.

Rob did some bill stuff, and we looked at it together. We're making significant progress on our debt, and have knocked down the monthly interest we're paying to hardly anything (especially compared to what it was).

It's amazing what one screaming free day can do to improve your mood.

happy spring everybody

This is the first snow we've had that will pack. All the other snow this year has been really dry snow. The dog had a great time playing with us, even though I had to throw her out 3 times before she would go out and pee in the morning, and she didn't want to go out all day. Ally had a great time. Every time she fell down though, she needed help getting back up. She brought me snow to put on the snowman, and she helped Rob roll the top 2 balls. She wasn't thrilled that the snowman was wearing her hat though. "that's not the snowman's hat. that's my hat" Don't you want the snowman to have a warm hat to wear? "No. That's my hat"

Does anyone else see the oddness of this scene on March 21st? What happened to distinct seasons?

underwears
I'd just like to mention that a size 6 pair of underwear doesn't look real big until your 2 year old daughter puts them on over her diaper and pants, and wears them. Then, they look awfully baggy.

FYI
there's enough static in my pants that when I walk, I worry (legitimately) about them falling down. I hate maternity pants. (I'll blame them instead of the big belly that they have to accommodate)

my god last week sucked
I think I may have gotten that point across. I'm feeling better now. Thanks. Ally is also feeling better. That makes a world of difference. Rob's mom and step-dad came up this weekend, and helped out, and that made a difference too. Yippee. Ally and the dog are learning to deal with each other. Now, we only have to correct one of them, oh say, about every 2 minutes or so instead of 30 seconds. Again, Yippee. Those Yippee's are not at all sarcastic for those of you who don't live inside my head. I'm trying to convey pure joy here. Any improvement over last week is much appreciated. Only 6 weeks of pregnancy left. At the risk of sounding like a broken record here -- (my kids will probably never actually hear what a broken record sounds like. Isn't that sad? in a kind of nostalgic way only. It's not like a broken record was the ultimate party item...) Yippee.

Rob and I are still fighting like cats and dogs, but we actually had about an hour last night with no harsh words. We were even awake at the time. It really sucks when you are both stressed beyond your capacity for dealing with it at the same time. A relationship needs someone to be the strong one and right now, neither one of us is fitting the bill. At least we both know that, and can see and end in sight. (baby - end of April. graduation - middle of May) We're just trying not to kill anyone until then.
That's a good goal, right? Right?

...in which my head explodes
I missed work yesterday. I really really missed it! Ally is such a pill when she is sickly and tired. I'm not sure exactly what is wrong with her. She's just got the snottys and generally feels puny. I can't take it anymore though. After the extended weekend, and the dog and the constant attention I've had to give the 2 of them and Rob working every other day instead of every 3 (cause of the job switch. transition time sucks) - I'm spent. I just can't take anymore.

Ally has said "I just want to be happy again" a couple times in the last couple days. She usually says it while in the middle of a crying jag. I know just how she feels. I don't know if I've mentioned it, but I've been pretty depressed at times during this pregnancy. Sometimes it feels like I'm these 2 separate people. One of us goes to work, and feeds the kid, and just generally makes it through life. She takes pictures, and plays games and laughs with her little girl. Mostly because "that's what mom's do" She seems pretty happy.

The other one though is always watching. She sees how happy that other mom is and knows how shallow that happiness is. If only life were that easy. She's the one who wonders why everything is so hard. She would rather curl up in bed and cry than read another goddamn kids book. When her husband isn't around, she hates him for it. When he is...

Oh nevermind. I can't explain it here at work without screaming. I'll just have to wait for my therapist.

Warning - rant coming**
I just don't understand it. Is anyone else tired of hearing about allergies? Every time my kid has a runny nose, or dry skin, or poops funky stuff I hear the same damn thing "Maybe she's got allergies!" WTF!?!? Sometimes kids get colds. Does anyone out there remember colds? There was a time when a cold was the end all answer to every sickness you could think of. In fact, it was so common, they called it the "common cold". Now, everyone has allergies...

God damn people. Let the kids grow up without shuttling them around to doctor after doctor. People have been allergic to things since the beginning of time. It used to kill them if it was severe. Now, if it's severe, it's usually also treatable by avoiding certain foods. But, I can guarantee you that having a little bit of diarrhea for a day or so is not enough to be freaking out. Likewise, clear snot doesn't always mean allergies. It could mean that the kid has a cold, or is teething, or just is snotty. Maybe they are allergic to pollen. Is it impairing their quality of life? Kids are being prescribed medicines for things that aren't necessary. Not everything needs to be treated. Can you say over-reacting?

I am not one of those earthmuffins (my apologies to any earthmuffins out there. I am not mocking you. I just think your muffin-ness is pretty amusing) who are into the holistic healing and all that crap. I believe that when you have a headache, you take ibuprofen (except when you're pregnant, because then you can only take Tylenol and it sucks and is not really useful at all) when you have a bacterial infection, you take an antibiotic. But if your kid has dry skin, the first thing you do is try some eff-ing lotion!!! Doctor's have better things to do with their time. If the lotion doesn't help, and the kid is scratching, and in pain, or whatever, it's may be a legitimate problem. Until then, it's just dry skin.

Sometimes it seems like people are just looking for something to be "wrong" with their kid so they can be special. Get over it already.

**I know my karma is probably going to bite me in the butt over this, but it really pisses me off to hear people assuming that my kid has a medical problem when she has a cold. I know. she always gives it to me when she's done with it. Allergies aren't contagious.

bedtime issues - not with Ally, with her dad
Okay, so Rob and I had this conversation about a month or so ago.
K: Ally needs to learn to go to sleep with you too, so that she doesn't freak out if I'm busy with the baby and you have to put her to sleep.
R: I know, but she just yells for you when I do it.
K: (pointed silence)
R: I know, I know.
K: well, Spring break is coming up, and it's probably the time when you'll be least busy before the baby comes. Do you think we could take that week and break her of it?
R: Yeah, probably. But it doesn't have to be that week.
K: well, it needs to be before the baby comes, because I can't do both every night.

(time passes. No attempt is made by the husband to jump in at bedtime. Flash to Spring break 9:25 pm(Otherwise known as last night)

R: Are you going to take her downstairs?
K: no
R: Why not?
K: It's your week to put her in bed.
R: I have to work tomorrow
K: So do I
R: (derisive tone) I have to work a 24 hour shift tomorrow. Just like I did Friday, and Sunday. I'm tired, and just because I'm on break, doesn't mean I don't have stuff to do. What did you do today?
K: You agreed that we needed to do this.
R: Yeah, On a day that I don't have to work in the morning, and haven't worked the night before, and can afford to be up half the night.
K: That's never going to happen. When was the last time it did?

I can't really remember exactly what was said, but that's the gist of it. The asshole! Why does he think that just because he works 24 hour shifts, I don't ever do anything. I have practically raised Ally on my own. Yes, he has been there, and helped out, but he hasn't done any of the stuff that is "women's work" and he doesn't even seem to realize that he's got that old pig-headed outlook on the whole thing. I was prepared to leave the house and come back when Ally was asleep, but that didn't end up being necessary. He gave in and told Ally it was bedtime. She grabbed me and tried to get me to come. Haha - point illustrated. He finally convinced her he was going to go with her, and only took about 15 minutes to get her to sleep. Half the time, she fights me longer, because I do it every night. I doubt I could have gotten her to sleep that fast last night. I'm just frustrated that he's not preparing for the next baby. He's going to have to take over some of the stuff I'm doing with Ally, and if he does it now, it'll be easier for Ally to accept. If he waits for the baby to be here, he may have more time (cause hopefully he'll be graduated) but, it might make Ally feel displaced. I don't want that. But mostly, he just pisses me off.

Easter
It's almost Easter again. That means I can buy Peeps. Gosh I love those things - sugary marshmallow goodness. They were my first craving with Ally. I didn't know I was pregnant yet. Rob even brought me home some from work one day (he was working at Wlagreens then). But, I didn't get to eat them for a month or two, because I had started puking. Ah, good times.

Rob's job
Rob no longer works for the assholes out of town. He now works only about 5 minutes from our house. Sunday was his last day at the old job and today his first at the new one. I'm very happy. He won't have as much time for school work here, but he won't be on the road as much. This will save gas, but will also be much safer. Many people have died on the road he used to drive to get to work. Yay. Plus, he'll be in town if anything happens, and we need him. (like if I lock my keys in my car and lose the other set)

storm
We're all fine. There were tornados in town, but not in my area, and the only real damage we had was that the wind pushed our fence, so it's leaning a little more than it used too. That said, the whole storm thing was a pain in the ass. Sunday night Rob was working, so he called to tell me to check the weather channel. I had to turn off Winnie-the-Pooh to do so, and that pissed Ally off. Things werem't looking so great, so we needed to go downstairs. They weren't yet so bad that we needed to hide in the bathroom yet though. I just wanted to be on the (partially under-)ground level. Ally wanted to watch Pooh. The dog wanted to go outside in the pouring rain and hail. So I went downstairs to gather some books, a flashlight and stuff, and came back up. Ally quit whining about pooh, but told me she couldn't go downstairs because she was "pooping and tooting for a while." And, she didn't want to go downstairs and read because she didn't want to go to bed. I had to convince her it wasn't bedtime yet. and I had to get all her diaper supplies and take them down with us. It's really hard to change a poopy diaper with a puppy "helping" so I locked her out of Ally's room. I got done, and the dog had peed on the floor. Not her fault - I wouldn't let her outside. But it sure didn't make things any easier. So I had to clean up the floor. But first, I locked the dog in the bathroom with her bed. She wasn't thrilled. I flipped the radio on and listened while I read Ally some stories in our spare bedroom. When it got worse, I took her in the bathroom and cuddled up on the floor and read to her some more. The dog loved it. She curled up next to us with her head in my lap and went to sleep (she snores). And Rob kept calling me. I couldn't listen to the radio, because he was always on the phone asking if I had heard the latest. "No I didn't hear it - I'm listening to you!" I was a little frazzled. I DO appreciate that he was worried about me, and calmed down once everyone got situated. I got Ally to bed (just a little late) called everyone back to say we were okay, and went to bed.

Lightning woke Ally up around 12:30 or so. I put her back to sleep with me in my bed. half hour later, the tornado sirens went off. Damn! Put Ally to sleep in the spare bedroom (it's on an inside wall) and flipped the radio on again. She slept just fine. I didn't. The next morning, I slept in. Oh wait, that's what I tried to do. Instead, I woke up every 10 minutes trying to get comfortable in a twin bed 7 months preganant sleeping next to a sprawling 2 year old. Ally woke up and was fine. I was tired. I decided to go to work late. I work for the state, and wasn't sure I'd have to work at all, but could find no mention of cancellation. Until I was halfway to work. Heard on the radio the governor was letting us stay home. No one at work had heard this yet though. I decided to go home anyway. Heard confirmation on the radio again. Was good enough for me. My co-workers didn't believe me. They got sent home about 30 minutes later. Hahaha. Spent the day being lazy. (and teaching the dog "down") Am happy to be back at work today.

Anyway, there's some pretty bad damage throughout town. We didn't get much, and our power didn't go off. We were very lucky. I'm thankful. Not everyone was so lucky.

Sandy
Okay, so Rob and I thought about getting Ally a dog a long time ago. We talked about it, and we (mostly I) set some pretty un-realistic conditions: must be housebroken, don't want a puppy - they are too excitable, must be small enough that Ally can play with it, and it can use our cat-door dog-door, etc. We were looking at shelters so we could get an older dog. The only problem is that the dogs there are all large. People just don't take small dogs to a shelter very much. We kept looking, but not very hard.

Then Rob got a wild hair up his butt the other day and decided we needed to look harder. I think it was because we watched some neighbor dogs break out of their house and go running away, and we helped round them up. One of the dogs was a Yorkie, and Ally was excited and thought it was "my Duke" (Duke is my mom's not-a-dog Yorkie). So I started looking at shelters again. I was rudely told that the one in a neighboring town doesn't adopt any dogs out to families with children under 10. What a load of shit! Do they want their dogs adopted or not? (...further rant edited out. You're welcome.) Needless to say, I was pissed off. Anyway, Rob thought that since Ally likes Mom's dog so much we should get a Yorkie. Much too small. Much too excitable, much too annoying, much too expensive, and you pretty much have to get a puppy and house train it. I don't have time for that. And Rob has more important things to do (I'll wait while you wash the sarcasm off your monitor. Go ahead...) He wanted me to start looking at buying a puppy. I drug (dragged?) my feet. I'm glad.

Friday night, he called me from work and asked if he could bring a puppy home. A guy he works with has a sister that rescued a dog. She gave it her shots, and house trained it, but can't keep it. Rob could bring it home, and if it didn't work out he could take it back with him on Sunday when he worked again. So I told him to go ahead and we'd try it.

The puppy is probably about 4-5 months old, female, a mutt of some sort (my guess is terrier, boxer mix, but that's a wild-ass guess. If you have any better guesses, let me know. Click the picture over there to see more), IS house trained and leash trained, is smart enough to figure out the dog door, was loved by Ally, and rarely barks. But, she is a puppy. She does get excited, and jump and nip occasionally. but not at Ally. It seems we're keeping her. Since Saturday was so gorgeous, we spent most of the day outside playing with her. She loves to curl up on your lap for a nap. In fact, she's not allowed on the couch, so if we sit on the couch, she jumps up and grabs at you until you sit on the floor to wring her neck, then she curls up in your lap. Ally got jealous once. Sandy (Yes, that's the dog's name. We're not original, and that's all we came up with) was laying on Rob, and Ally came over and said "I want to sit on your lap" She never wants to sit sit on Rob's lap without doing something else - like reading or something. But when she got the dog moved, she did sit there for a while, just to prove that she had the right I guess.


As I said, Ally loved the dog. Here are a couple of things we heard quite a bit this weekend:
1. puppy, what are you doing?
2. No puppy, that's my couch.
3. I'm happy to see you puppy
4. Down, Sandy
5. Mister puppy (if she was a he, that might have been her/his name)
6. chase me!

The dog is very good about letting Ally manhandle her. She is 14 1/2 pounds, so a little bit too big for Ally to pick up. But Ally will lay her head on Sandy's belly and give her huge hugs and "tickle" her belly. She also likes to wave her hands around and run about to that the dog gets all hyper. This is always accompanied by screaming. Ally was wired all weekend. At some point, I considered ripping my ears off my head, just so the loudness would stop.

The dog is learning "go lay down in your bed". (Of course we bought it a bed. Because we don't have anything else to spend our money on. And she was free after all. Besides, she thought Ally's little couch was a perfect place to sleep, and Ally disagreed. The funniest thing was that we brought the bed home, and Ally sat in it, so the dog sat on her couch. Ally freaked out, and got up to go to move the dog, and the dog went and laid down on her bed. I could see the self-satisfaction on the dog's face. I think Ally learned her lesson) I think she's pretty smart and definitely trainable. It'll just take time. This morning, Sandy went upstairs and laid in her bed after Rob left, until I got up to get ready. She's improving every day.

I just realized that I've called it "the dog" and it a lot up there. It got on my nerves a little bit this (extended) weekend. I do like her and she's very cuddly. And very cute.

My god, it's Tuesday already.
I've got lots of updates. Things have been happening around here. I'm tired.

tumbling update
It has gone downhill. Less kids keep coming, and after the first 2 weeks, these 2 little boys started coming. They haven't been exactly well-behaved. And the teacher lets a 6-7 year old or something come in sometimes. She just distracts the kids, and gets in the way. It's a toddler class people!

Last week really almost made me not come back, but I decided to let them have another chance last night anyway. Last week:

they got new equipment and piled it in front of the door. The only way into and out of the room we tumble in then became a garage door that was controlled from the other side.

when we complained about this, they pulled up a mat and made some room for the door to open - (however, this door has never been fixed from 3 weeks ago when the handle broke. If the door latched, there was still no way to get it open.)

but there was another class practicing in the adjoining room, so if you needed the bathroom/to leave/to use the tumble track thingy I told you about, you had to walk through and around that class.

only 1 boy showed up besides Ally. He left, because the mother wasn't satisfied with the arrangements. Ally did not want to leave, so I stayed and let her do it alone.

This week:

I got there at 6:00 exactly because I have to sit and wait forever if I get there early - they are very disorganized and never on time. I still had to wait 17 minutes for the teacher to get finished with whatever she was doing. No one else showed up.

The doorknob was still not fixed

the mat was back in front of the door

2 classes were again practicing in the adjoining room

Ally did not want to cooperate without the other kids to play with.

So, we left, and I won't go back. I'm very sad about this. Ally had a very good time the first couple times we went. I decided to drive across town and check out another place. There is a class at 5:30 (even worse for dinner plans, but this class is shorter) at another place. It has openings, and I'll try them out next month. They looked much more organized and had their shit together. We'll see. What I really want is someplace I can take Ally once a week and let her run and play and have a good time with other kids. She loves it so much. i hope this place works out. Otherwise, I'll be really bummed

Posted by ktjrdn at 09:29 CST

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oh the irony...
I just got an email advertising "Viagra Soft Tabs". I may be immature, but it made me chuckle.

at least she'll know what to do...
I have no hope for Ally's vision. Rob got glasses in 1st grade (I think) I got mine in 2nd. I'm sure that Ally will too. Bad genes and all. But, here's the silver lining: Ally already knows how to put in contacts. This morning, she woke up before I had mine in, and I sat her on the toilet seat to talk to me while I got ready (oh, family tradition... The bathroom was the only place my mother ever stood still long enough that I could sit and talk to her). She told me that she wanted to do it. I decoded, and figured out she wanted to put my contacts in. Since I was already finished, I gave her the contact case with some solution still in it. She carefully dipped her right index finger in, and poked herself in the eye. (gently - she didn't hurt herself) Then she did it all over again with her left index finger and left eye. Then she blinked a couple times and said "I got my contacts in". It was truly a remarkable performance.

fingernails
I painted Ally's fingernails last night. They are purple. She loved it. But, I couldn't get her to stand still and pose for a good picture. I'll try again. I think it's so cute!! I'm glad I have a girl. (She's getting better at brushing my hair too!)

too much orange juice
Ally decided that she was hungry as we were getting ready to leave Bloomington. I thought it was too close to bedtime, and it was her fault she hadn't eaten, and she was probably just stalling anyway and was just going to let her be, but you know my husband. He's such a pushover. He thought we should give her a glass of milk or OJ or something before we left. I convinced him it wasn't necessary, and we left. We had to stop for a bottle of water for me, and Rob made me get her a bottle of OJ too. She drank about half of it before I took it away from her. She would have drank more. As I'm worrying about her spilling it, Rob tells me that he would have poured half of it out. Too late. Besides, I thought of that, and I KNOW that if I had done it, and she cried because she wanted more, he would have gotten annoyed with me.

So, she fell asleep. We got home, settled her into bed and got ready ourselves. She started fussing. Then, crying. I went in. More crying. and coughing. "Do you want a drink" no. I picked her up and was planning on rocking her when she started coughing more, and retching a little. So, I took her in the bathroom (tile floor) just in time to get puked on. Ally has had a cold, and so I'm sure her stomach already was upset from the mucus and all, the OJ didn't help. I felt so bad for her. She was covering her mouth and trying to keep from puking. Then she was crying, and coughing some more. She told me "I want to spit it out" So I told her to do it - it was okay. Poor kid. She thought she was doing something wrong. Or maybe I'm projecting here; the first time I remember puking, I distinctly remember the impression that my mom was impatient with me because I hadn't learned to puke in the toliet. (Sorry if that's not true, Mom, but hey, that's what I remember)

So we sat in the bathroom for a while and puked into a towel or 2 until she got it all out. I encouraged her and told her she was being a good girl, and stripped her down to her diaper, and as soon as she got her stomach emptied out, she was fine, and fell asleep wrapped in a blanket on my chest. Rob stood around for a while and did what he could, and actually told me that I handled it well. He never does that. He can find something wrong with everything I ever do in a case where she's sick. I hate being married to a paramedic sometimes. If I didn't know him better, I would think he felt guilty about making me get the the OJ in the first place, but his comments later proved otherwise. He made sure to point out that he thought she should have had a glass of milk or OJ before we left. Like 15 minutes would have made a difference.

I felt so sorry for Ally, but she managed to not really get any puke on her, and barely get any on me (except a tiny bit on our clothes), so we didn't have to bathe or anything, and she went back to sleep, so I'm not even sure she remembered it in the morning.

Cullen
I can't believe how well Ally plays with Cullen. It's amazing to watch them together. She follows him around and laughs at everything he does. We stayed at Grandpa Bob and Grandma Glinda's until bedtime and let Ally sleep on the way home. She and Cullen played and played. It gives me hope that someday, I can see that with her and her little sister too.

Famous Dave's
We drove back to Bob's house and let Ally sleep. When she woke up, we all went to Famous Dave's for supper. I don't really like BBQ, but they have to-die-for corm muffins. I always order them as an appetizer and have side dishes for my meal. As soon as the waitress brought them, Ally grabbed one and said "I want to eat one" She proceeded to shovel it in. Cullen (her 4 yo cousin) was playing with her a little before this, and tried again to tickle her after she got the muffin. She told him "I want to eat right now." Of course, that was all she would eat, but hey, I expected that.