later
Later I'll get into all that happy shit (and there's a lot of it. It's been a good week). For now, I'm tired. But, I can't sleep. It's 4:00 am. My 4 day old and my 2 1/2 year old are upstairs watching TV with my MIL. They're been tag-teaming us. I should be using this short opportunity (I can't ever spell this word for some reason. I always have to run spell-check on it. There's something preventing it from being saved in my brain.) I have where they are both not crying to sleep, but can't get comfortable in my non-adjustable bed, and can't manage to close my eyes anyway. So, me and my Haagen-Dazs have come here instead.

So, I felt guilty when I got home, because I really haven't been able to spend much time with Ally this week. I played with Ally while holding Anya, and things went well. Then, Ally didn't want to eat her supper. Not unusual. (BTW Rob's at work. This is his first day back. He won't be home until tomorrow morning.) Grandma bargains with her to try to get her to eat. It works a little. (This is great as a one-time strategy, but as a long-term plan - not-so-much. She's going to be here a few weeks to help out.) Grandpa shows up. He's been at work today, and just came up to see his wife and us for the weekend. I feed Anya. Ally plays with Grandpa - dinner forgotten. I go downstairs to feed Anya in the rocking chair instead. Ally asks to watch Dora. She's been asking this all night. Everytime, I've said "After supper" Darra figures that she's not going to eat supper, so she puts a Dora on. All Ally ate was a piece of bread with peanut butter and jelly. Darra came down to check on me. I told her that Ally could watch Dora IF she ate some more dinner. Darra tells me she already started it. Ally's not going to eat. Who's in charge here? Seems like Ally. I went upstairs and made her eat. It was in front of the TV, but she did finally have some supper. I had to turn Dora off and leave it off until Ally decided to eat. Then, I let her watch as long as she continued to eat.

Darra gave Ally a bath. Then, Ally starts to fight bedtime. Darra just isn't me. Ally thinks she can negotiate with her. I got her ready for bed instead. Ally's bedtime has been eroding this week. Anya starts to get fussy. Darra says she can deal with her and I take Ally to bed. She gets cough syrup and 3 bedtime stories. She tries to convince me to read 4. As I get to the end of 3, Darra can't hold Anya over anymore, and brings her to me, so I tell Ally that I read 3, but Grandma will read her 1 more and then it's time for bed. I go feed Anya. i feel guilty, and go check on Ally. Darra has left her and she's on er way to sleep. I go in to tell her goodnight, and rub her back while still feeding Anya (did I mention I'm breast-feeding?) She goes to sleep. Yay. Anya is asleep. Yay. I go upstairs to take a pain pill, and tell everyone I'm going to sleep. HA!

I lay Anya down in her bassinet. I can't get comfortable. Every way I lay hurts. (did I mention I had a c-section?) Plus, my back hurts from trying not to stand up straight and stretch out my stomach muscles cause - ouch. I get settled good enough, and Anya starts fussing. I bring her in bed with me and try to use a boob to sooth her even though she just ate. She won't settle down and go to bed. finally give up on trying to get comfy in bed, and go up to the couch. Darra is still up. She offers to take Anya so I can go back to sleep. It seems Anya has a upset stomach. She's pooping a lot. very gassy. I lay down again and after 20 minutes or so, get somewhat settled. Ally wakes up. 3 times in a row, I go to her. Then she starts coughing. I bring her to bed with me. She lays down for a while, then starts coughing and gagging. Her throat hurts so much she can't lay down without coughing. We go upstairs. Anya is asleep. Ally is not. I put on a movie for Ally to watch. After a while, Anya wakes up hungry. I feed her. She doesn't want to go back to sleep. that's where we are now. I'm tired. I don't even think I have the strength to examine what's going on here. I was going to say something meaningful about being a mom, or something about asking for help from people and being able to accept it or about how no one ever does things the same as you, but that doesn't mean they're wrong. I just don't have the energy. And, my Haagen-Dzs is melting. I'll talk to you later