OK, I've been busy. Do you all know how hard it is to actually sit down at the computer and type while I'm not at work? For one thing, the computer is in our (tiny) bedroom. without a tv. so I can't do it while I'm sitting around doind nothing. If I'm not sitting around doing nothing, I'm doing something. The house needs cleaned and stuff. The baby needs fed and changed and her closet organized. The toddler needs her room cleaned. etc. (She is also currently yelling because she's pretty gassy. hold on a minute. ok I'm back. with Anya, of course. that's always how it works)
but, I feel bad about not posting. Mainly because I started this blog as a way to help me remember all those little things that pass so quickly. not the cracked nipples, and screaming nights - those I remember. But the tiniest little non-important moments that are SO important. Like saying "Is the baby asleep?" to Rob and hearing Ally pipe up and say "I'm right here, Mom" And seeing Anya look around already - she has so much neck control. And telling you all about how Anya's ears were all folded and ruffly, but are already starting to look normal. And what I said to Rob when I first heard Anya cry ("She sounds like a duck" oddly enough, he says I said the same about Ally. I don't remember it. I was realy out of it that first time. What I remember most clearly is smacking myelf in the face, because I couldn't move my arms very well. too much anesthesia.)
Or how different the 2 girls seem to be already. Ally was very awakw and aware when she was born. She looked around for hours it seems. Anya went right to sleep. I don't know if it was the different times of day they were born, or the different circumstances, or different personalities? Probably all of the above. Anya is much nosier. She cries more often. She actually cares when her diaper needs changed. Ally never did (still doesn't) She squeaks and grunts all the time. She will NOT nurse unless it is her idea. I could stick a boob anywhere near Ally's mouth and she'd get all Pavlov's dog-y. Anya closes her mouth and turns away. But if it's her idea, and I'm not right there - she yells.
Besides all that, they're very similar. They look a lot alike. Anya has a little more of Rob in her eyes and forehead, but has the same nose and cheeks and chin as Ally (which is to say, she looks a lot like me too). They have the same hairline, but Anya has a little more hair to start with. Anya does the same baby things that all babies - just like Ally - do.
And I find myself thinking in almost constant comparisons between them. Is that fair? I don't really know how to stop myself. With Ally, I had no point of reference - no possible way to compare. I had my whole attention focused on her. I'm trying not to do that to Anya, but I think it's inevitable.
Oh well. She's asleep, so I'm giong to go take a nap too. She didn't sleep so well last night.
Posted by ktjrdn
at 12:03 CDT