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ktjrdn at yahoo dot com

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Thursday, 15 March 2007
Ally issues

So what do you tell your kid when she says "The kids in room 9 said I'm a baby"?

If you're good parent, you tell her that her friends were teasing, and it's not very nice. She's beautiful, smart, and a big girl, and she should ask them not to say it. (Um, I think that's what you'd say...)

If you're a bad parent, you say "It's because you are, you stupid baby.".

However, if you're me - you know, a annoying, nagging, irritable parent tired of all the whining -  you say the good parent thing, but add in that she chouldn't cry over everything, and maybe they'd stop teasing her**. Because her crying over every. little. stupid. thing! is driving me NUTS.  "Mooooommy, I huuuurt mysellllf" Well, are you ok? "Yeah" then she continues with whatever she was doing. It's like she has to have the validation from me to go on. I know Rob and I have probably created this (on accident) but I don't know how to stop it. I don't rush over everytime she hurts herself. I don't hover. I think I give her plenty of space to explore things safely and stuff. So why? why?

"(sniffle) I fell down outside cause I was running too fast and I cried(sniffle)"
"My friend took my toy away and I cried"
"Hannah said I couldn't play blocks with her, but I wanted to and she made me cry"

I want Ally to express her feelings. I do. I just don't want her feelings to rule her life. I don't want every little thing to make her sad. I want her to be able to make it through a day without being reduced to tears. I want her to be able to interact with her friends and deal with people. I want her to learn to be strong and have friends. Above all, I want her to be happy. not sad. The more time she spends on crying and whining about stuff, the less time she's able to enjoy her day. It makes me very sad. Sometimes I want to cry.


**And of course, we talked about how she's not a real baby. Real babies don't know how to talk yet and they are learning to walk and they drink bottles and go to the baby room. And about things she san say to people if they call her names and all the other responsible parent crap. But, I'm so tired of listening to the whining that I had to throw that annoying little bit in there. Why can't I just get over myself and deal with her without getting irritated with the neediness? Of course she needs me - she's 3. Grrr.

Posted by ktjrdn at 09:58 CDT
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Thursday, 15 March 2007 - 11:49 CDT

Name: "Amy W"
Home Page: http://ashleyandaudrey.blogspot.com

Ashley does the same thing sometimes.  She will cry over everything and then we call her out on it and she's fine.  These three year olds, they are SMART.

Thursday, 15 March 2007 - 14:36 CDT

Name: "Jenny"
Home Page: http://blogs.chron.com/mamadrama/

I'm kind of the same way with Hailey.  If I act like it's nothing when she falls then she jumps right up and is fine because she knows I'm not going to baby her if she's not really hurt.  It's a fine line...supporting them when they need it, but allowing them to learn how to suck it up and deal.

 That being said, I'm just going to die when some kid hurts Hailey's feelings.

Thursday, 15 March 2007 - 15:59 CDT

Name: "jill"

you could always tell her to beat her friends upside the head the next time they do that ;-)  just kidding. and you definitely don't want her to need the constant attention i have at least one nephew like that and he's not the most likeable kid, because he's a constant "interruptor" and he always thinks everything he has to say is the most important thing ever. and if anyone else gets attention, he makes sure to beat them down or talk over them, take your pick, to make sure he is always getting the most. it's tiresome, and we only see them a couple hours a month. if you have a cure, be sure to share.. i never know whether to tell him to go jump off a cliff or smother him with attention hoping it will be enough.. but it never is. and how do you tell a kid that they're annoying if that's the only way they know how to be...?!? do you REALLY have to wait for them to outgrow it?

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